Author's disclaimer: No profit made, etc.
Author's notes: Major angst here. Emotional roller coaster from hell. (You have been warned) Jim and Blair's POV in regard to a certain incident that takes place in the story. Romance. Not beta'd Feedback requested.
Destroy the Evidence
Blair Sandburg was striding through the front glass doors of Cascade PD headquarters, when he noticed the uniformed officer on duty gesturing in his direction. He was walking towards the officer when he heard the ding of the elevator, its doors opening to reveal most of the detectives assigned to Major Crime. As one, they rushed over to the former police observer.
The detectives all began speaking at once. "Whoa, whoa guys!" Blair said as he began laughing. "What is going on?"
"Captain Banks sent us down to talk to you," Rafe began.
"To find out..."interjected Joel.
"What the hell is the matter with Jim today?" finished Detective Brown.
Blair's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What are you all talking about? He was fine when I left for the University this morning. He said he was going to take it easy, since he didn't have to be here till later. What exactly is the situation?"
"He's been short with everyone and everything," began Megan.
"I actually thought the copier was going to buy the big one, he was hitting the buttons on it so hard," added Brown.
"He even had a blow-up with the Captain," Taggart finished.
'Damn' thought Blair.
"The Captain has been trying to reach you all morning, to ask what was going on. When he got word that you were on your way here, he sent us down to meet you."
"Okay. Listen, I'm here to take Jim out to lunch and I'll try to find out what's up."
All of the detectives' tense expressions eased as they realized that James Ellison was now no longer their problem. Sandburg would know what to do with Jim, he always did.
Blair was the first person out of the elevator on the seventh floor with the detectives trailing behind him. However, they beat a fast retreat when Ellison was spotted walking down the hallway towards them, a tense look on his face.
"Hey Jim!" Blair called out, "How about some lunch?"
The nerve in Jim's jaw twitched. "I'll dump these and meet you at the elevators," he said referring to the files he held in his right hand.
Jim was walking out of Major Crime when he heard Simon call out, "Take the rest of the day off, Ellison."
An almost audible sigh of relief was heard as all those within the bullpen discreetly watched the black cloud that had hung over Major Crime all morning leave for the rest of the day.
The elevator ride down to the garage was silent. It wasn't until Blair was fastening his seatbelt inside the cab of Jim's truck that Blair turned to his lover with a smile, "so what'll it be?"
The look Jim gave him meant only one thing. "Wonderburger it is, man."
Jim's silence continued until he pulled up to the speaker at his favorite fast food place. Without even a glance in Blair's direction he said, "two Wonderburgers with cheese, a chicken salad, and an order of onion rings."
The sound of Jim's voice ordering barely registered in Blair's mind, which was furiously trying to figure out how was the best way to get Ellison to open up about what was bothering him. With a start, Blair realized Jim had finally said something to him since they were inside the station.
"Your next class is at 2," Jim repeated, waiting for conformation. The truck's clock indicating the current time of 12:15 PM.
"Yeah," Blair acknowledged in a startled voice. They had already gotten their food and were turning back onto the street. Blair had been so intent in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed. It wasn't until Jim made a right hand turn and parked at the Days Inn that his intention was revealed. Blair didn't say anything as Jim got out of the truck to check them in and get a room.
'Jim wants a quickie, well that wasn't so unusual. They had done this a couple of times before, especially in the very beginning of their intimate relationship,' thought Blair with a sly grin. No public lewdness for James Ellison, though so they always stopped at the nearest hotel or motel and got a room. What didn't fit was the animosity that Blair could sense brewing underneath Jim's outward calm. 'Maybe it IS just sexual tension' thought Blair.
Jim didn't look in Blair's direction as he got back into the truck and drove it into the parking space in front of Room 117. Jim had grabbed the food and was moving towards the room before Blair could even get a word out. 'I must be entering the Twilight Zone' Blair thought furiously to himself as he shut the door to the truck and walked into the room where Ellison closed the door behind him.
Blair had barely enough time to register the king-sized bed, as he dropped his backpack to the floor, when Jim suddenly pounced. The suddenness of Jim's deep full throat kisses shocked Blair into full arousal quite quickly. Jim's moodiness at work was quickly forgotten as desire metamorphosed into full fledge lust for Blair. Blair began to quickly and expertly unfasten Jim's belt and pants while continuing to kiss him back fiercely.
The draft of cold air on his genitals brought Ellison into the realization that his pants and underwear were both around his ankles while Blair was still fully dressed. Jim quickly began to rectify the situation by maneuvering Blair backwards until the back of his knees buckled against the foot of the bed and he fell. Jim quickly removed Blair's jeans and underwear as he lay panting on the bed in expectation. Blair had generously helped Jim out by kicking off his shoes previously. Jim left his shirt alone, as his very erect dick couldn't wait much longer.
Jim grabbed the small tube of lubricant he had stuffed in his pocket and tossed it to Blair who caught it one-handed. Blair quickly began to prepare himself for penetration as he watched Jim slide a condom over his cock. Blair scooted down towards the edge of the bed with legs spread until Jim was standing between them. Blair sat up with his right hand slick with lube and began to coat Jim's cock with the clear gel.
Blair then quickly laid back, drawing his knees up to his chest as Jim grasped his hips, bringing him even closer to the edge of the bed. Blair lowered his ankles to rest on Jim's shoulders as he relaxed into Jim's initial thrust inside of him.
The silence of the room was suddenly harshly broken.
"Why didn't you tell me that you and Roy Williams were lovers?" Jim growled as he looked down into Blair's lustful blue eyes that widened in shock at Jim's question.
"Get off me," Blair said in an ice-cold tone.
Jim gently withdrew from Blair and backed up to the other side of the room. Blair quickly picked up his clothes and began to get dressed without looking at Jim. His previous lust having evaporated at Jim's words, Blair had no problem with fastening his jeans other than the shaking of his hands. Right now he could kill Jim. "How did you find out?" he spit out, although Blair already knew. He walked over to stand by the window, looking out through the tiny open space between the curtains at Jim's truck.
Sharita had called him four months after Roy's murder. She had been going through his personal effects for her husband Jamie; Roy's younger brother and she had come across his personal journals. The journals that Blair had convinced Roy were a good form of self-therapy. Enclosed with them were a bunch of unmailed letters addressed to him that she thought he would like. They had arrived by personal courier the next day.
Eight letters of loss, love, and pain. Roy's unspoken feelings for him, the loneliness when Blair had been away on expeditions, and the depression he experienced when Blair had temporarily moved to Chicago to obtain his Masters degree. The depth of emotion revealed by Roy's letters had brought Blair to tears. Roy had never given him a hint, even when he saw him on that last night after his fight. His reverie was broken by Jim's voice.
"I was putting those papers you had left on the coffee table in your office when I jarred your African sculpture, scattering papers everywhere. When I was gathering them up I accidentally read one," Jim lamely finished as he looked down at the floor.
"Did you read all of them," asked Blair in a controlled tone.
"What do you mean all of them?" Jim quickly asked as his head shot up.
Blair turned to face in Jim's direction, his arms folded firmly across his chest. "It doesn't matter."
"You still haven't answered my question," Jim grimly reminded, "Why didn't you tell me that you and Roy had been lovers."
Blair gave a bitter angry laugh. "Yeah right, Jim. Are you angry that I didn't tell you at the time of the murder investigation or because I didn't tell you after we began sleeping together?"
"The murder investigation of course," Jim replied too quickly.
"Right," Blair sarcastically began, "I was going to tell Mr. By-The-Book Ellison that not only was I an old friend of the victim but that he was an old lover of mine. You and Simon were already ignoring my opinions on who the suspect was on the case. If I had told you about Roy and I being lovers you would have had me thrown off the investigation so fast, my head would have spun!"
"You STILL should have told me!" Jim thundered.
"Why? Weren't you the one who told me that I shouldn't tell my current lover anything about the former ones. How did you put it, something like, 'destroy the evidence.' wasn't it?" Blair viciously reminded him as they now stood face to face.
Jim became enraged as Blair threw his own words back at him.
"I have the right to know whose FUCKED you before me!"
"NO ONE YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU WERE THE FIRST!" screamed Blair incensed at the crude words coming from James Joseph Ellison's upper class mouth.
The silence of the room echoed with Blair's declaration. 'Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit!' thought Blair. He had never intended to let Jim know that little particular fact, let alone yell it at the top of his lungs in the middle of a fight. Blair's right hand brushed through his curly hair nervously. 'The hell with this!' grimly thought Blair.
"I'm going back to the University. GO HOME, Jim" Blair said as he picked up his backpack and started towards the door.
"I'll drive you..." Jim started to say still in complete shock.
"No. I don't want to be around you right now," Blair stated as he strode through the doorway, not looking at his lover who was still only half dressed.
The sound of the door closing broke the spell that held Jim. He quickly got dressed and ran out the door, the food forgetten on the table as he rushed out to see Blair getting into a cab that had apparently just dropped someone off at the motel.
Blair took deep breaths inside the car, as the cab pulled away from the motel and headed for Rainier. 'I am NOT going to have a panic attack. Just take long relaxing breaths, man. Thats right relax. Put Jim out of your mind. Calm. You have an intro class to get through, then you can fall apart,' he assuredly thought to himself.
"Hey son, are you all right," the kindly old cab driver asked as looked at the trembling college kid in his rearview mirror.
Blair just smiled weakly and nodded his head.
He handed $10 to the cabbie and left without waiting for change. Blair barely acknowledged the greetings from both students and colleagues as he made his distracted way to his Intro Anthropology class. Blair was still one of the most popular teachers at Rainier, after all. He placed today's lecture outline on Native Americans on the pedestal. Blair forcefully pushed the motel incident and Jim out of his mind through sheer force of will. His lecture although lacking his usual cheerful ramblings was adequate and his mental distress went unnoticed by the students.
It wasn't until he was sitting in the safety of his parked car, after class ended that he let his emotions flood out. 'Damn you Jim! Why did you do it? I still can't believe it,' Blair thought. The whole thing seemed so surreal even as it was happening. The words that had spilled from Jim's mouth just as he had entered him, had taken him so aback that it actually took a minute for their full meaning to register in his brain.
From that point on, just keeping the rage contained had taken all his self-control. It was the first time he actually wanted to physically hit Jim. To beat the crap out of him. He laughed bitterly to himself. He still wanted to. Anger coursed through his veins as he tried to figure out what the hell had happened this afternoon.
'Jim had found out about Roy. He had read one of the letters. That still didn't explain the shit that he pulled in the motel room,' Blair thought, suddenly groaning aloud as he remembered what he had yelled. 'Oh shit! Oh Shit! I told him. I told him. Oh God!' "No!" Blair wailed aloud in his car. Please let it be a dream. Please don't let it have happened. Blair put his head in his hands as he tried to deny the truth to himself. Blair clinched his eyes shut as the thoughts circled crazily though his mind.
"Dumb! Dumb!" Blair cried into the silence of his car. 'I knew keeping the letters in the loft was a bad idea. But they were so beautiful,' Blair thought with a faint smile on his face. He enjoyed reading them from time to time. 'Jim, of course would have destroyed them if they had been his,' Blair thought grimly as he started his car and finally began to make his way home to the waiting confrontation with Jim. He didn't want to even begin to think about how Jim had weathered his other revelation.
Jim's pacing beside the loft's windows abruptly stopped as he recognized the sound that he had been anxiously waiting for hours to hear. The engine of Blair's green Volvo as it parked downstairs across the street. His attention focused on the rapid heartbeat of the occupant who remained stationary in the vehicle.
Two and a Half Hours Earlier--The Loft
Jim's thoughts hadn't stopped racing since Blair had deserted him at the motel. He was so full of anxiety that he had run the apartment through another unnecessary cleaning after arriving home. He had carefully ignored the room that had started the whole mess this morning. Not once venturing close to Blair's room/office.
Afterwards, with the thoughts still hammering in his mind, he had begun cooking dinner. Just by coincidence choosing a favorite recipe of Blair's. Blair. His stricken face was seared into his brain. He hadn't meant to do it! He pleaded silently to himself, 'I really didn't.' He just wanted to know if it was true. Jealous rage had consumed him when he realized that the letter he had inadvertently read this morning, was a love letter from Blair's old boyfriend. The betrayal Jim had felt had left him crazed the rest of the morning. He had planned to ask Blair if it was true outright but not for the first time, doubt and insecurity had reared their ugly heads.
The sight of Blair at Cascade PD had instantly stirred the desire that was never very far below the surface between them into full-blown lust. Satisfying that lust suddenly became paramount to him. The words had just savagely erupted from his mouth as the image of Roy buried to the hilt inside Blair exploded into his brain at the same exact instant that he sheathed himself in Blair's warm body.
Jim closed his eyes and wailed, the caterwaul echoing throughout the apartment. He would do anything if he could take that moment back. To make it like it had never been. He had known the instant he saw the expression on Blair's face that it was a fatal mistake. If Blair had been in any sort of position to hit him, he would have. Blair the pacifist would have beat the shit out of him like he deserved.
Blair was never going to forgive him, if he even came home.' Jim's hands shook at the thought that Blair was gone for good as he finished peeling the mango. He concentrated like his life depended on it as he proceeded to cut the mango into slices. As he was pouring olive oil into the frying pan, his mind whirled at the enraged words that had been torn from Blair's mouth during the fight.
Disbelief still tinged his brain at Blair's shouted words. He had been Blair's first. That just wasn't possible. Roy's letter was so sexually explicit. 'Too damn sexually explicit,' Jim angrily thought. Plus, Blair had been so authoritative the first time Jim had made anal love to him. He had had to talk him, Jim through the whole thing. Cop instincts steadfastly arguing that a virgin doesn't act that way. Blair's expertise had been uncomfortably reminiscent of the tricks between the whores and johns he had observed while working in Vice, he bitterly thought as he cut the red bell pepper into tiny slices and turned the stove up to medium heat.
Jim knew his jealousy was unreasonable. He had never felt like this about anyone else. He had never cared about Carolyn's or Lila's previous lovers. It was something he never even wondered about, until Blair. His hand gripped the knife tighter as he cut the chicken breast into 6 slices. The thought of Blair with another man, past or present, rankled. That image of Roy inside Blair still haunted his mind.
It just wasn't possible that a man like "Sweet" Roy Williams, a professional boxer for heaven's sake, would not have fucked Blair at least once. He should have realized that they had been lovers after Roy's murder. Blair's bizarre behavior, totally uncharacteristic even for him during the investigation, now was crystal clear. 'Lovers,' Jim angrily thought as he put the chicken strips into the pan. Even Simon had remarked that Blair's behavior was coming out of left field at the time. I should have known there was something more there. "I am a detective, damn it" Jim muttered aloud as he added small red and green hot chilies to the chicken.
'I couldn't have been his first. It just wasn't possible,' Jim thought with a denying shake of his head. The idea just refused to be accepted by Jim's mind. 'Blair, with his looks, he practically begs to be fucked,' Jim thought furiously to himself as he added the snow peas, coconut and the rest of the ingredients to the chicken, covering it to cook for 15 minutes.
With nothing left to occupy his hands, Jim began to pace back and forth by the windows as doubts tore jaggedly through his mind as he waited for his lover to come home.
Blair sat in his car and continued to brood. He knew Jim was aware of his presence and was probably monitoring his heartbeat. 'Let him wait,' he thought angrily as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. The rage he had failed to disperse making him mean. He tried to analyze what was behind this anger. What specifically was it about this morning that had made him so angry with Jim?
He didn't really care about Jim finding out about Roy, what made his vision go red was the specific timing of Jim's questioning. That had so antagonized him that the rest of the converstation just fueled the fire. The words were out of his mouth before he even realized what he was screaming. He had sworn to himself that he would never reveal his virginity to Jim, EVER.
He knew it was irrational. Blair just felt that once Jim knew that he had never let anyone 'top' him before, that Jim was the only man he had ever wanted to give that part of himself to, that the full depth of his love for Jim would be totally exposed. He was almost physically sick at what Jim's behavior had forced him to reveal about himself. This feeling of vulnerability made him want to hit something. Well the secret was out. He couldn't take it back, no matter how much he wished to make the moment disappear, and the words to remain unsaid. Blair sighed as he grabbed his backpack and finally made his way into the building.
The sweet smell of Caribbean chicken was the first thing that Blair noticed as he opened the door and walked in. 'Of course, he cooked,' Blair bitterly thought. Although Ellison would never admit it, Blair realized within a week of moving into the loft, that Jim enjoyed cooking for people. He also tended to cook in times of extreme stress. 'Which this certainly qualifies' Blair thought as he spotted one of his favorite dishes on the stove.
Blair tossed the backpack to the floor by the kitchen table that was set perfectly for two.
"Dinner isn't going make up for shit, Jim." Blair said an emotionless tone as he stared at the table, deliberately not looking in his lover's direction. Jim had frozen in place by the windows as Blair had finally entered.
"I know, its just that...I know you didn't eat lunch..." Jim began as he remembered the bags of food that they both had left untouched in the motel room.
"Blair I'm so sorry," Jim said his voice breaking, as so full of emotion it was almost unrecognizable.
"I'm very angry, Jim" Blair said in that same voice. "Sorry is not going to cover it by a long shot." He was still not looking directly at Jim, afraid that he would lose control if he did. He made a sound that was a half laugh-half groan at the thought that Naomi would be terrified at the violent urges currently plaguing her son's mind.
"What the Hell did you think you were doing? Strong arming some scum for information, huh? But you didn't use violence did you? You used sex, SEX you Bastard!" Blair's voice now filled with cold rage as he strode over to Jim, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Well, did you get the information you wanted, DETECTIVE?" Blair sarcastically asked looking directly into Jim's controlled face.
"No?...Well what else would you like to know Detective Ellison?," a deadly saccharine voice inquired.
"Is it true?" Jim softly asked feeling completely out of control of this conversation.
"That I was the first...that you and Roy never..." Jim's voice trailed off not finishing the question.
"Oh, is it true that I didn't...oh how did you so nicely put it this afternoon...let him FUCK me? Is that what you are inquiring about?"
"Yes," Jim ground out between clenched teeth.
Blair turned away to stand facing out the balcony windows, his arms crossed over his chest in an unconscious imitation of Jim's usual uncommunicative stance.
"You were my first," Blair's softly said in a tone barely audible to even Jim's heightened sense of hearing.
"I don't understand," Jim said completely bewildered by the truth he sensed in Blair's answer.
"What's to understand? You were the first to have anal sex with me," Blair said as he turned back to see the confused look on Jim's face.
"Then why did the letter talk about how your body felt..." again words deserted Jim.
"I never said I didn't have sex with Roy," Blair replied now understanding Jim's confusion.
"I made love to Roy," Blair stated, patiently waiting for Jim to digest his meaning.
"You 'topped' him," Jim finally uttered in a shocked tone.
"Yep," Blair confirmed in a casual voice.
"Have there been others?" Jim suddenly asked.
"That is none of your damn business," Blair's deadly cold voice answered as he aggressively walked up to Jim until they once again stood face to face.
"Fine. Fine! Nothing's fine here Jim! We are pretty fucking far from fine, man!" Blair cried while running his hands agitatedly through his hair. "What the Hell did you think you were doing? Did you do it deliberately?" Blair asked.
"No! No! Blair I don't know what came over me. The words just spilled out. I am so, so sorry. Please, please forgive me," Jim begged for the first time in his life. Jim's hands came up to gently cup Blair's face as his eyes pleaded for absolution.
Blair stared searchingly into Jim's eyes for several silent moments. Jim remained still as he let all his feelings, fears, doubts--his very soul shine in his light blue eyes for the first time since his mother deserted him. Jim willingly put his heart, his soul in Blair's hands.
The tears fell down Blair's face as he saw the soul of the man that he had previously only been allowed glimpses of; when an arm was casually thrown in front of him to keep him from getting hurt during a car chase, when he blindly approached a drugged friend holding a loaded gun on him, when he dropped everything to go save a friend and his son in another country, even if only to retrieve their bodies. A man who risks himself many times over to save those around him never once thinking not to do so.
Blair finally sighed and closed his eyes at the sight of such goodness burning brightly in the heart of one who had suffered so many personal betrayals.
"I forgive you Jim," Blair whispered as he opened his eyes to look into Jim's. "But if you ever pull anything like this again. If you ever use sex against me, that part of our relationship will be over. Finished. Do you hear me, Jim?" asked Blair, his blue eyes serious.
"I understand," Jim replied releasing the breath he had been holding.
"I can't forget what you did Jim. Not right away. I'm not going to get over it for a while. Until I do, I don't want you touching me unless I ask you to, do you understand?"
"You're going back to sleeping in your room" Jim dispiritedly stated.
"No. I am going to be sleeping in the same bed I have been sleeping in for the last four months, but you are going to have to back off until I say so. Agreed?"
"Good. Then let's eat. I'm starving," Blair said in an attempt to sound normal, as he headed over to the pan sitting on the stove. Yes he was still angry and he knew this wasn't the last he was going to hear about his past with Roy, but he also knew that it had taken a hell of a lot for Jim to drop those walls that he had held up around himself for so long. Even temporarily. Maybe it would be enough to get them through this crisis.
There was little conversation as they ate dinner together that night. Each man digesting the newly exposed facets of the man sitting across from him at the dinner table.
It wasn't until Blair was sitting on the couch getting his papers organized for the rest of the remaining week's lectures that he heard the question that he had been dreading as Jim cleaned up the kitchen.
"Have you ever thought about doing it...with me you know?" asked Jim in a casual tone as he was drying the dishes and putting them away.
Blair gave a bitter sigh, he had known he was going to have to have this discussion but he had been hoping like hell to have more time to prepare.
"To be perfectly honest...no, man" Blair replied tiredly as he removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his right hand.
"Why not? I mean you said you did it with...him. Don't you miss it?"
"No," Blair desperately hoping Jim would drop the subject for now. It was too damn soon after Jim's fuck-up this afternoon and both their emotions were still running high. Blair laughed grimly. The tension between him and Jim was so high that it was felt throughout the entire loft.
Jim came over and sat in the chair next to the couch.
"You don't mind that I have never let you be on 'top'?" Ellison incredulously asked as he looked at his lover sitting cross-legged on the couch, papers strewn around him.
Blair sighed again, as he realized that he wasn't going to get any kind of reprieve tonight. 'I must have offended a whole lot of gods in a previous life,' he thought to himself as he closed his lesson plan and put it back into his backpack. Work, at least for the rest of the night was clearly not going to be possible.
"Why not?" asked Jim.
"Every relationship is different Jim, you know that. There are certain things you do sexually with one person that it never occurs to you to do with another," explained Blair.
"So you don't mind that I have never let you..." Jim began.
"Right now Jim, having sex of any kind with you is the last thing on my mind," Blair stated.
"It never bugs you that the most I've done for you is to get you off by hand?" Jim insisted as he stood up and began to pace.
"No, damn it! How many times do you want me to tell you?" Blair annoyingly yelled.
"You've never been pissed after you've gone down on me and I didn't return the favor?"
"You know Jim, contrary to what you might think about me, I do occasionally have brain functions that originate above the waist" Blair angrily retorted. "This isn't some sort of sexual contest! No one is keeping score, man."
"Look Jim," Blair continued as he hoisted his backpack on his right shoulder, "I'm not in the mood for this discussion right now. Leave it alone. But let's get one thing perfectly clear. My past, who I have slept with and what I did with them is none of your damn business. If I decide to tell you something it will be MY choice. You have no right to demand to know anything. If you can't handle it, then you better tell me now and we can end the sexual aspect of our relationship right now."
"I understand," Jim promised as he looked into Blair's tense blue eyes.
"Good. I am going to bed," Blair said as he made his way to drop his backpack off in his office before walking upstairs to the bedroom.
Jim stood silently in place as he watched his lover walk away. He began to secure the perimeter of the loft distractedly as his eyes followed Blair as he eventually made his way up the stairs towards their bedroom.
Jim used his hearing to eavesdrop on Blair's progress as he undressed and got into bed. It wasn't until Jim heard the sound of the sheets and comforter being pulled back and Blair sliding into bed that something unclenched in the pit of his stomach. After checking that the front door was locked and turning out the lights Jim made his way slowly up the stairs.
The bedroom was dark but he didn't need light, what with his sentinel vision to see that Blair was laying on his right side facing away from him on the far side of the bed. Jim quickly undressed and after folding his clothes neatly on the dresser joined Blair in bed. He laid still for several moments just listening to Blair's breathing, finding comfort in the sound, in the fact that Blair was still in his bed. Jim had laid in the same position as Blair, on his right side, his gaze resting on Blair's back.
"I do love you, Blair. I guess I am just really messed up, like you said."
Blair sighed and flipped to lie on his back. "You sure are, man. Totally."
Blair then did something that made Jim hold his breath in shock. Blair turned back to lie on his right side and inched backwards until Jim's body was spooned behind him. "Stroke my hair until I fall asleep?" Blair whispered.
"Anytime babe." Jim softly replied as his hand began to gently finger the beautiful curls that trailed down over Blair's shoulder and back.
Blair's tense body relaxed at the comforting touch of Jim's fingers as they gently combed through his hair. Jim's fingers continued trailing through Blair's curls long after his lover's breathing evened out into sleep.
Eleven days later
Jim was dropping his keys into the basket as he closed the front door when Blair walked up to him.
Before Jim could respond Blair's tongue was in his mouth in a hungry kiss.
"Oh man!" Blair murmured against Jim's chest as he quickly undid Jim's belt and unfastened his pants. "I have wanted your cock inside of me all afternoon." Blair's adroit fingers quickly tackling the shirt buttons and removing the last barrier between his lips and the smooth skin of Jim's chest.
Jim's heart began to beat rapidly at Blair's words. This would be the first time they had made love since his screw-up. He brought Blair's chin up from where it was sucking on his left nipple and began to hungrily kiss Blair's mouth. The taste of mint and green tea filling his mouth deliciously. 'Oh god, how he had missed the taste of Blair's tongue' Jim thought as he sucked, feeling the tiny ridges at the tip of his lover's tongue. Jim's tongue gradually made its way down to the side of Blair's neck. Jim's hands not to be outdone quickly divested Blair of his t-shirt and were working on Blair's jeans when a voice silkily whispered in his left ear, "I already prepared myself for you, James."
Jim's head jerked up to gaze into Blair's lust ridden blue eyes. The image of Blair preparing himself while he had been at the station flooded Jim's mind with fire. Blair's jeans and underwear soon joined his on the floor as he began bathing Blair's nipples with tiny licks. The moan emitted by Blair as his mouth swallowed the nipple ring igniting his groin.
"Oh God, Blair," Jim cried as his lover's hand found and gripped his erect cock.
"I think your ready man" teased Blair as he turned around to face the front door. Jim quickly squatted and rummaged through the pockets of Blair's jeans until he found the items he was desperately searching for. He tore the package with his teeth and quickly rolled the latex over his dick.
"You should have been a Boy Scout, Chief" Jim said as he squeezed the lubricant into his hand and coated his cock liberally with it.
"Who said I wasn't?" Blair said teasingly over his right shoulder as he bent over slightly and put his hands against the door for support. Jim quickly moved up behind Blair and guided his cock to Blair's waiting anus.
He began to gently push his way inside with a firm insistent pressure. 'Shit, it feels like he used a whole tube of lubricant' Jim silently thought, gasping at the cold gel that he could sense through the condom. Blair's body welcomed his entry as the outer sphincter muscle relaxed and then the inner one until his entire shaft was fully encased in Blair, his balls resting against Blair's buttocks.
Jim held his body still savoring the perfect moment. There was nothing in his mind but awareness of the blissful feel of Blair. The sweet acidic smell of his sweat, the sight of Blair's toned back as it gracefully half arched at his entry, the taste of Blair's skin as Jim bathed his neck in kisses and little nips.
"Move.." Blair huskily moaned.
Jim began to leisurely piston his cock in and out of Blair, withdrawing till only the head remained before gliding back. He did this for a few moments glorying in the feel of Blair's interior muscles dragging against the sides of his cock as if refusing to let him go. Blair's was making incoherent noises from deep within his throat at the feel of Jim's cock sliding deep within him.
"Faster Jim!" Blair's arms took a firmer stance against the front door as he felt Jim's hands take an iron grip on his hips. The feel of Jim's rod as it began hammering inside of him, made his already stiff cock even harder. Jim grabbed the back of Blair's head pulling him up slightly and thus changing the angle of his thrusts.
The sudden hitch in Blair's breath and the hard nub Jim felt at the edge of his cock told him that he had found Blair's prostrate. He began to ram his shaft in and out faster and faster. Jim was so intent on making it as pleasurable as he could for Blair that it was a shock when he came after only a few driving strokes.
It was the involuntary jerks of Jim's cock deep inside him against his prostrate that drove Blair over the edge with a deafening scream. Blair lay heavily panting against the front door, the heavy weight of Jim against his back.
"Thank you," Jim softly said against Blair's back as he realized what he had almost lost forever.
Blair just smiled as he drew Jim's arms closer around him. Life was good.
---------End of Destroy the Evidence------------